My name is Marwa

My name is Marwa and I am a resident of Gaza Camp. The inhabitants of Gaza Camp aren’t legally recognized by any country, we are more like visible ghosts. We don’t have a Palestinian passport, we only have a 2-year temporary Jordanian passports especially for people from Gaza. So in the eyes of the law we’re neither Palestinians nor Jordanians, we belong to no country. The refugees in Gaza camp escaped war in 1967 on foot all the way from Gaza until they arrived in Jordan, and were given 750 square meters- less than a kilometer of space — in northern Jordan. It was intended to be temporary, but now many generations have been born there and nearly 45. 000 inhabit the camp. The camp is overcrowded and bursting at its seams, but restrictive government policies have made escape nearly impossible.

Gaza Camp, Jarash, Jordan

 Gaza Camp residents are not allowed to be officially employed, schooled nor are they provided health care. They live on the aid provided to them from the UN, and unfortunately, when the Syrian refugees came to Jordan most of this help was transferred to them and the camp was left to extreme poverty. The lack of opportunity and pressure led to a restless population and crime, alcohol and drugs increased as the camp tried to cope.

And there are the inner hurdles, it is very hard to be a woman in Gaza camp, the restrictions on women are very stifling. People there believe that after finishing high school, a woman’s focus should be on marriage and raising children. The average age of marriage in the camp is 14 but I know girls as young as 10 who have been married. Girls are taught that their place is in the home and they are excluded from the labour market and the majority are deprived from continuing their education. One of the saddest things was women are also excluded from sport. I love football and I am very good at it but I’ve been told that sport in general and football in particular are only for boys and I was warned not to play it. I was not allowed to go to parks, playgrounds or to do any other activity my brothers can easily do. 

Growing up I was only allowed to go to school other than that I don’t do anything. On holidays I would spend all my days in my room, most of the time I wouldn’t even know which day it was or how is the weather outside, it felt that I only have one day and it is repeated over and over. I wondered if anyone outside knows that we are here, that we are alive but locked up in this camp. It was as if the only thing progressing is our age, everything else is going backwards. I thought that I’ll live in this room forever; I used to get panic attacks many times a week. A volunteer who used to visit the camp kept my company on whatsapp and asked me to write a message to my future self, I wrote in my message that it is just a matter of time until I can get out of this prison and live like all women around the world, even though I didn’t know how life really was out of the camp. I kept writing in my room almost every day and writing did save my life, and here I am grateful to be alive.

During this time, all of my friends and women around me were preparing to get married, but I received the highest GPA on my branch in high school and received only one of two scholarships to go to University. It was the most challenging and scary thing I had to do, convincing my relatives and people in the camp that I don’t want to get married, and that I had other dreams.  I was afraid to tell them about my dreams and ambitions. I felt like an outsider for daring to want something other than marriage.  I never felt like other women in the camp,  my dreams felt different.. So I rejected every opportunity for marriage which got me and my parents in issues with people in the camp.  

I felt that I had a lot of things to do, but first of all , I wanted to change this entire system. But it was very strong, much stronger than me; at the last semester in university my aunt arranged a marriage for me to a family friend. He promised I could continue to study but, after our marriage, the first thing he told me was to stop studying and that I should never work. He told me to just stay in the house and he’ll do everything. That was one of the most devastating things anyone ever told me.. This was the life of all women in Gaza Camp; after marriage,she is treated as property, not allowed to leave the house at all. My relatives were against divorce as it is a big shame here for women, if a woman got divorce that means her life is over and she won’t ever get married. But, with the support of my mother, I listened to my heart and asked for a divorce. 

 I think my life really started when I recognized that no one should tell me what to do and I am responsible for my life. I can do whatever I want without having to take many permissions from male members in the family and that I deserve respect and freedom. This is what I want to help other women recognize and live by. Thanks to my mother, who was very supportive, I went on to finish my bachelor degree, and I moved to the capital Amman. I’ve been working in the development sector for 3 years. I went back to the camp and founded the first ever women football team. Partnering with Princess Lara, I help women and people in vulnerable communities to receive proper help medically and socially. I also work in programs that create job opportunities for women and encourage them to work and be self-dependent.  

I want this suffering to stop. The things I suffered in the camp and overcame are what got me in the humanitarian field and made me passionate about it. I want to work hard to change the lives of women in Gaza Camp, to show them a better path and make them believe in themselves and how good it feels when you accomplish something and feel recognized. I want to make structural changes in the system and do my best to enforce the 17 UN goals.  When I am able to create work opportunities for women in vulnerable places like Gaza Camp, and support them to get over their fear of accomplishing their dreams and empower them, it reminds me of why I am here on earth. This is what I want to do for the rest of my life.

At a sports day for women. Playing for gender equality in Jordan